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Dr. Zest


This is supposed to be cherry flavored? Hah! I don’t recall cherries tasting like the runway between my asshole and balls . . . you don’t want to know.

-Vernon Gallows, Informant


Click to enlarge: a bottle of Sanomax.

Abigail Frankenstein Zestler (born July 15, 690), known more commonly as Dr. Zest, is the founder of Zesty Medicine Labs. She attended Gast Academy from 711 to 714, enrolling in the Panacea Hall. After becoming a mercenary, she only worked for half a year before retiring and is quoted saying, “There was no sense of ownership. I’ve always wanted to be my own boss.” She procured a loan and opened her own medical practice in Hafland’s Van Buren borough. The space was exceptionally small, and her business floundered in its infant years; to save money and make ends meet, she began producing her own medicine to give to patients, instead of buying from the larger labs in Magitech’s Coast. It was during this time that Abigail created the first formulation of the household medicine, Sanomax. Though she claims to have developed Sanomax Syrup through a third-party research lab, skeptics question where she found the funding to do so, with some speculating she used her patients as test subjects.

Regardless of its origins, word of her cure-all drug circulated through Hafland, and people began showing up at her practice to buy it. Using the initial surge of income from sales, Abigail bought a warehouse in Magitech’s Coast and began production of her medicine in earnest, settling on the name: Sanomax Syrup. To help sales, Abigail adopted the persona of Dr. Zest and coined the term: “Dr. Zest knows best!” Sanomax’s popularity boomed and became a household name, making her a wealthy businesswoman very quickly. She started Zesty Medicine Labs shortly after and has since created other medicinal products, but none have yet to beat her flagship product’s popularity.

Sanomax Syrup

A newspaper ad for Sanomax Syrup.

Sanomax is a common medicine found in Hafland; it is a dark red syrup ingested orally. Sanomax is a potent pain reliever, but what makes it truly special is that it is formulated to work in humans, dalyéwos, and kavi.

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